SPN: to call for hands of above.

one night to be confused.

is it just me, or is elisa's "heaven out of hell" not the perfect dean/castiel song? someone should vid this, m'kay? because i have no such skills.

in other news, hi! dropped off the face of the interwebz again, i know. mea cupla. here are some dean/castiel vid recs!

heartbeats - by ILoveThesePeople.
to call for hands of above / to lean on / wouldn't be good enough / for me, no.

white blank page - by ILoveThesePeople.
but tell me now / where was my fault / in loving you / with my whole heart?

strike me down - by Lawliettte2.
i'm the fate in no one's plans.

no love/no glory - by Nanyz7. (this one is actually a castiel/jimmy vid.)
this is the way you left me / i'm not pretending / no hope, no love, no glory / no happy ending.

we must carry - by ILoveThesePeople.
we will all / at some point in our lives / fall.

have you passed through this night? - by ILoveThesePeople.
does our ruin benefit the earth?
DLM: and she was fearless.

when you hit me, hit me hard.

i know i haven't posted in forever, but hello! i have recently re-entered fandom, and all thanks must go to zachary quinto. heroes and star trek xi? YES, PLEASE! i want to share 2 vids with you guys, both by thebiggest_lie. even if you don't like star trek, you'll LOVE the slashy-ness!

1. right now by ryan star.
i'm about to lose control. so i'm gonna let it go.

right now is a wonderful kirk and spock character study. the more i watch it, the more i admire the simplicity and complexity of this vid. such a good analysis of how they differ, how they come to trust each other, and how they come to work and thrive together.

2. many of horror by biffy clyro.
i'll take a bruise; i know you're worth it.

many of horror is the perfect song for this vid. it describes their doubts, their insecurities, their conflicting thought patterns, and their damage. they are both damaged, in profound ways. and again, they both learn what it is to really need someone, to be the matching piece that completes the set.

all in all, i much prefer many of horror as a song, but the vid for right now is so much more cohesive and epic. in my opinion, it tells the story of the development of the kirk/spock friendship so much better.

so, i'm sorry for being away for so long. i can't promise a definite return. but i will continue to share my epic star trek reboot findings. feel free to link me to anything cool that has cropped up lately, or just tell me about random shit that's been going on. i really do miss you guys. <3
DLM: and she was fearless.

if the house is on fire, you're gonna kneel on the floor.

various items today, seeing as how i've been away for another 417 years. and by various, i of course mean two.

1. a fun poll, only some of which are pro-choice!

Poll #1283577 randomnity.

how i met your mother?


alyson hannigan?

knocked up.
bunned in the oven.

tegan or sara?

tegan, then sara.
sara, then tegan.
all of the above.

rocky horror picture show?

riff raff

my favorite thing about the fall is...

...the leaves.
...the cold.
...breaking out the coats and the scarves.
...laughing at those wearing shorts and tank-tops and freezing their asses off.

2. some pictures of my boyfriend (by popular demand), now with boring captions!

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send me a link to something funny! i am in a mood to laugh, m'dears.
DLM: and she was fearless.

your love will do.

also: this is totally one of my favorite tegan and sara songs.

but, like. you know that tegan and sara thing? where they sometimes clench their jaws and sing through their teeth? god bless them, i love that little detail.

but. when i sing along to this song in particular, it kind of makes me feel a little bit autistic. you know what i mean?
DLM: and she was fearless.

i know you put in the hours to keep me in sunglasses.

i've come to the point in my life where i think that most everything is perfect (or near enough to perfect), and i just want to share my obnoxious rays of happy-warm-feelings with the entire world. so, i get myself all ready to post to my lovely friends about...nothing. yep. i got nothing.

how are you guys?

basically, my life rocks right now. i have fallen madly in love with the absolutely most perfect guy on the face of the planet. i absolutely love the weather outside and the biking that i have been doing. etc etc etc.

but omg. i drank three glasses of wine before going to work today. just because i was bored. BORED. urgh.

so, anyway. some items, in no particular list of importance:

1. season four of grey's? WORST. EVER. OMG. i can't even describe how boring this show is to me now. BUT! ERICA HAHN? I LUFF HER. I LUFF HER SO MUCH.

2. i am currently writing a short story about aliens. ALIENS. and a brave little toaster warden in an all women's prison who must defeat them. with twists and turns! or something like that.

anyway, at first, abdicate_it refused to read it. now, she has agreed to maybe possibly pore over it one day, but assures me that she will not like it. updates as they come.

3. i don't care what any of you think, but this? is awesome.

4. my boyfriend and i recently had a conversation about vaginas. more specifically, about women and their vaginal holes. and i was all, "dude. women have THREE holes. pee hole, penis/dildo/finger/menstrual blood/whatever hole, poo hole."

and then he was all, "yeah. but WHERE is this pee hole, specifically?"

me: "well, duh. it's right...um..."

and then it occurred to me. I HAVE NO IDEA. don't look at me like that. i took health class in grade seven. i remembered the part about the three holes, didn't i?

anyway, in case you were interested, because i know i was:

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5. i am now going to work my way through my fourth and fifth glasses of wine of the day. for those of you playing along at home, why yes. that would indeed be the whole bottle. keep me company? anyone?
DLM: and she was fearless.

(no subject)

this just in: I AM NOT DEAD. WOO-HOO!

real life has recently sucked my brain down for food. it's ridiculous. but guys, i'm so freaking happy. for the first time in a long while, i feel really comfortable and safe.

and i just realized that i don't have any good pictures of my boyfriend, sean. but seriously, there are a few on my facebook. so, yeah. check me out, yo.

anyway. i haven't been keeping up with any of my tv shows, although i recently got my roommate into angel, and it has kick-started my love for television. i find that i just don't have much time anymore. it's really sad. school, work and boyfriend (not necessarily in that order) have eaten my life.

but i missed you guys terribly. so, hi. how are you? what's new? any shenanigans? kisses, etc.
DLM: and she was fearless.

i don't care if i'm a guilty pleasure for you.


holy shit. cobra starship rocks so hard. i loff it.

also: hi. i have been slacking again. i know, i know. i just don't want to read all the spoilery spoilers for the shows i'm not watching right now because bandslash has eaten my brain.

speaking of: i totally dressed up as ryan ross for halloween. photographic evidence will hopefully be forthcoming. it was awesome. i did roseplosion!ryan. it was sweet.

what's up with you guys? tell me all about your lives. i miss you terribly. and i am horrible with keeping up with my eljay. mea culpa, etc.

also also: remember that boy i was talking about a while ago? yeah. i may or may not have a boy thing. a thing. with a boy. who is awesome. i know. the world is totally askew. but. he makes me all girly and smiley. urgh.
DLM: and she was fearless.

i bet you're still a sucker for those famous faces.

okay, so. there may or may not be this boy. in my life. right now. yeah.

see. here’s the thing. i had a bit of a crush on him last year. because he is beyond attractive. but not usually the type i go for. anyway. but then i got over it. so we met up again this year at school and i was very “whatever” about it, but he wanted to hang. so we got some food. and shared it. like. both-of-us-eating-off-my-plate sharing.

and then we hung out some more, shared some more food, drank a bit, SPENT TWO HOURS LYING IN A FIELD TOGETHER STARING AT THE SKY AND DOING CARTWHEELS. massages may or may not have been involved.

and all the while, i’m thinking to myself, “okay. this is cool. we’re friends. i can do that.” i’m usually awkward around people. but not with this guy.


and then. we drink some more and go over to his place and have knee-touching moments and then go to sleep on his bed. FULLY CLOTHED. WITH NOTHING UNTOWARD HAPPENING.

and i hadn’t showered in a few days (dirtbag, i know), and i was sick, and i felt pretty gross but STILL COMFORTABLE AROUND HIM.

and then we spooned. and slept all tangled together. and then the next morning, i was leaving and he said that we should hang out again later in the day and then. there was a kiss.

one of those clichéd kisses where you can’t remember who initiated it. you know? you both just went for it at the same time. and it was a little dry and stuff, because we were both pretty sick with a cold, BUT IT STILL ROCKED.

and then we watched a movie yesterday and kissed again when he was leaving. and it was cute.

and here is my dilemma: i am bothered by the fact that the cuteness doesn’t bother me. seriously. i don’t usually go in for cuteness. but.

*dramatic sigh*

my life is so hard.

in other news, i am a bandslash whore now. want to discuss the wonders of panic! at the disco or the academy is... or cobra starship and/or all the slashtastic happenings in our shiny little fandom? PLEASE DISCUSS IT WITH ME.

HP: stealing your prophecy.

god for esteban.

omg. i am slightly drunk right now. wine is soooo good. it's taking all my concentration not to make spelling mistakes. and zomg. i can’t help myself. i drank about a bottle and a half tonight. 0_0


anyway. and then i went to quiznos on my day off and sat around eating and smoking. i’m lame.

and yes. i’m in a happy/depressed mood right now. it happens every once in a while. it usually involves me, drinking mass amounts of alcohol, bouncing around my apartment and getting into a new fandom.

this time, that fandom is bandslash. that’s right. it’s a fandom now. i’ve been listening to panic! at the disco all night. and looking at very pretty and very slashy pictures on the interwebz, of the brendon/ryan variety. new fandom! it makes me all giddy. i think ryan is my favorite. *nods*

however, all this p!atd isn’t helping my insane urge to start a band. i can’t play any instruments, but still. i’d be vocals. and yeah. i really, really want it. like crack.

also: I WANT SEX RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. and all the insanely hot harry/snape non-con chan and trio fic and remus/sirius mwpp-era fic in the world can’t satisfy me. i seriously just want an experienced guy to just thrown me down and have his way with me. is that so much to ask? IS IT?

abdicate_it finally got hold of deathly hallows and texted me some of her thoughts. we squeed over dudley together. it was grand.

my cousin alex added me on facebook and for about ten minutes, i had absolutely no idea who he was. i was all, “who the hell is this? i don’t know anyone who lives in oakville.” and then, yeah. realization struck me. needless to say, we don’t see each very often. but it was a nice surprise.

so, yeah. keep me entertained with brendon/ryan picscams or fic or something. i’ll love you forever.